Spring Break
Voting is the symbol of genius
Column: Media Bias
Steve Markley
Issue date: 9/17/04 Section: OpEd Page
I was discussing the upcoming election with a friend, after him because he said he wasn't going to vote. "I don't follow politics," he said; stuff like that doesn't matter to me."So, you're saying you're too lazy and ignorant to form a fairly simple opinion?He said, "People are smart in different areas. Just because you follow politics doesn't mean you're smarter than me."I thought about what he said and I came to this conclusion, which I will now proclaim in obnoxious capital letters: Enough of this PC, feel-good, everyone-is-special-in-their-own-way crap-IF YOU DON'T VOTE, I AM SMARTER THAN YOU. And not only am I smarter than you, but you are actually a full-fledged moron. In fact, you are dumber than every single person who votes.What this means is some inbred Texas Klansman is actually smarter than you because at least he's trying to stake a claim in his future by voting for the segregationist party (this year, a Pat Buchanan - Louis Farrakhan unity ticket). It also means, God help you, that you are dumber than our president, George W. Bush, who will almost certainly vote (presumably for Ralph Nader in an effort to detract votes from John Kerry). You are also stupider than Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, who this election year has been recruiting celebrities in an attempt to increase voting turnout of America's largest bloc of drooling idiots: 18-to 26-year-olds. To my supreme shame I find myself actually admiring something P. Diddy has done (other than "Hate Me Now," which was tight). His slogan, "Vote or Die," is brilliant in its simplicity. A more partisan columnist might argue that every single person who voted for G.W. in 2000 now has the blood of more than 1,000 U.S. troops and countless Iraqi civilians on his or her hands. However, mostly I'm just excited by the thought of 50 Cent debating the injustice of supply-side economics with Bill O'Reilly.Another one of my friends, who we will call "Jeremy B. Clark," is the perfect example of how almost anyone can become an educated voter. Jeremy knew nothing of politics. One time he even told me, "Politics is for people who can't do science." Then over the past summer he did a bizarre and astonishing thing - he read. He read books and kept up with the news and went from a repressed Catholic conservative to a social revolutionary just right of Karl Marx. Now every time we have a political debate with people, he's so intense I usually have to say something to the affect of, "It's all right, man. I know Bush is wrecking the country, but come on, stop crying."So I end this column with my non-partisan plea - please, take a stake in your country. Educate yourself and vote. And please, for the love of God, don't vote for that lying bag of colostomy, George W. Bush.
