Spring Break
Canadian bacon
Column: Perspective
Allison Kolodziej
Issue date: 12/10/04 Section: OpEd Page
In less than a month I"ll be on my way to Europe to spend four months in Luxembourg.During the past semester I"ve received tons of advice about life overseas. What to eat, where to visit, how to stay safe - and how to camouflage being from the United States.Although Lux itself seems pretty welcoming, it"s pretty evident that Americans - specifically those from the United States - typically aren"t received with loving arms in most of Europe. To avoid being political, we can assume that it"s due to personal arrogance, noisiness and having a lack of cultural awareness.Many believe that a clever way to bypass this American discrimination is to wear a disguise.I"m not sure that my cowboy hat and baseball uniform will fit in my little suitcase, so I"ve decided to dress as one of our friendly neighbors from the north.Conveniently, a U.S. company is even selling packages with Canadian paraphernalia for American tourists to avoid confrontations with Europeans.This convenient $24.95 package includes a Canadian flag T-shirt, a similar flag pin and a flag patch for a travel bag. The company has also added the handy reference guide, "How to Speak Canadian, Eh?"Hmmm, maybe this would make for a good Christmas present.Being Canadian for a few months this spring wouldn"t be too tough. I already share several similar characteristics with the Canadians. I"m nice to strangers, I like hockey a lot and I speak a little French - enough to say that I"m hungry, or ask where the train station is.I even celebrated Canada Day in Washington D.C. this summer. Since it rained on the Fourth of July, I was grateful I had a chance to go out and celebrate at least one country"s birthday.I had so much fun and I felt like a true Canadian. We went out in a huge group, wore all red and white, and shouted "It"s Canada Day!" to everyone in the subway and on the streets.Since it didn"t seem like many D.C. residents were even aware of this fine occasion, we received very curious looks - especially at the Irish pub where we celebrated.I didn"t act much differently while I was "Canadian," but surely the Canada travel pack will do wonders on my adventure around Europe.Of course, my fine Canadian accessories are only the first step to happy overseas traveling. I can thank my worldly friends for warning me of other European quarks and preparing me for unexpected situations. You know - those essential things that my "Let"s Go Europe!" travel book doesn"t tell the typical naïve American (or Canadian...).For example, my friend from high school went to Amsterdam for his senior trip and came back raving about the coffee shops there."I love coffee!" was my response. I was really excited when he mentioned its fine quality - but I couldn"t figure out why he kept laughing when I asked if it was better than Starbucks. Apparently they make their coffee a little differently in the Netherlands...I"ve heard enough warnings about night trains to fill up my car with good friends and lock it - unless I want to wake up next to random smelly straggler.But the more I think about it, the more I realize that crazy stuff will happen regardless of whether I"m sporting a Canadian flag on my bag.In fact, this silly disguise is just giving the Europeans more to rag on us about. And what is going to prevent the nice Canadians from taking our flag and being all obnoxious with it?I guess my best bet is to be a friendly, authentic American do-gooder. I"ll offer fruity body splash to smelly stragglers. I"ll give big hugs to strangers courtesy of the U.S. of A. - and feed American flag sugar cookies to anyone who still seems angry.Since everyone loves hugs and my excellent baking, I think I could really turn around things for the United States.Eh?
