Spring Break
AIDS testing not utilized by stupid students
Column: Media bias
Steve Markley
Issue date: 3/1/05 Section: OpEd Page
World AIDS day came and went last December, but to the surprise of health officials across the globe, for roughly the 34th straight year, people continue to contract AIDS. There is, however, a very simple explanation for this: You are an idiot.Why are you an idiot? Because a) most likely you have been sexually active in your lifetime (physics majors and College Republicans not included) and b) you've never had an HIV test.So let me say, congratulations, you damn moron.Part of the problem is the stigma we associate with taking such a test. If you're female, it must mean you're a slut (rather than the subject of a double-standard of sexuality imposed by society) or if you're a guy it must mean you're a callous pit of human waste who will gladly sleep with anyone simply to boost your ego (which, let's face it, you probably are).This stigma is tied into the puritanical attitude of this country, which dictates that if we don't talk about sex it will just go away. Look at the Bush administration's policy of abstinence-only education. Because as if sex wasn't already tempting enough for teenagers, now they're bringing Pastor Gary into classrooms to weep while he talks about what a beautiful moment his wedding night was when he and his wife consummated their love (at least he thinks that's what happened - really he just closed his eyes, flailed around, and told her that's what was supposed to happen).Sadly, this taboo attitude leads to larger problems than two kids making a mess in the backseat of a parent's car. Of the 950,000 people infected with HIV/AIDS in the United States, 280,000 do not know it. Since it is estimated that you can live up to 20 years without any adverse symptoms, these people can continue to actively spread the disease unknowingly. Recently, many health officials have called for yearly or twice-yearly testing for all sexually active people. The effect of this increased awareness would lower the rate of HIV infection by 20 percent.Bear in mind, Miami, I am in no way asking you to cut back on your pleasure-seeking, hedonistic lifestyle. Just make sure that, say, every six months to a year you take a break from snorting cocaine off the inner thigh of that fraternity guy or sorority girl to get tested.Did you know that at the student health center at Miami AIDS tests are free and anonymous? When I went in for my own test in preparation for this column, the nurse practitioner, Tammy Gustin, told me that at the health center they only perform about 100 HIV tests per semester. One-hundred per semester? Ever been to Brick Street on a Friday night? There are 100 prospective tests right there (and that's not counting the people who wait until they get home).Furthermore, the test is easy. Not as easy as the SAT where you get 400 points just for spelling your name but certainly not hard. You make an appointment, go in, give an anonymous account of your sexual history (at which point, in my case, the nurse laughed and told me it was fairly difficult to contract AIDS from your left hand) and get a small pinprick on your finger.Ms. Gustin called it a "ripple effect" - throw a stone in a pond and watch the waves spread. The beginning of this effect is for people like you to get tested and use protection. Trust me, it will make the nose candy coming off that inner thigh twice as sweet.
