Spring Break
Column: Lives of journalists hinge on inappropriate behavior
Steve Markley
Issue date: 12/9/05 Section: OpEd Page
Working at The Student, I've learned that journalists, in addition to being chronically depressed alcoholics, also have way too much time on their hands and dark imaginations. Pretty soon, I was an actual Student employee and had to face my "staff initiation."
Let me just say, this experience made anything fraternities do seem tame. The elephant walk, the biscuit - these horrors all pale in comparison to what they force upon you for joining the full-time staff (it includes Vaseline and a small kitten named "Blinkles" that you're not supposed to grow too attached to).
My theory is that journalism tends to attract truly idealistic, motivated people, who quickly find that the world is filled with lying, self-interested, money-hungry savages, who would sell their own mother's vital organs if it meant screwing union employees or starting a war in Iraq.
Once these individuals have become completely jaded, they turn to sex and alcohol to quiet the blistering pain in their scarred, cavernous souls. After that it's just a few simple steps until you're either working as drug mule on the Mexican border or worse, Bill O'Reilly. This is what they don't teach you in Journalism 101-that, and how not to tear up when you see what's become of Blinkles.
Let me just say, this experience made anything fraternities do seem tame. The elephant walk, the biscuit - these horrors all pale in comparison to what they force upon you for joining the full-time staff (it includes Vaseline and a small kitten named "Blinkles" that you're not supposed to grow too attached to).
My theory is that journalism tends to attract truly idealistic, motivated people, who quickly find that the world is filled with lying, self-interested, money-hungry savages, who would sell their own mother's vital organs if it meant screwing union employees or starting a war in Iraq.
Once these individuals have become completely jaded, they turn to sex and alcohol to quiet the blistering pain in their scarred, cavernous souls. After that it's just a few simple steps until you're either working as drug mule on the Mexican border or worse, Bill O'Reilly. This is what they don't teach you in Journalism 101-that, and how not to tear up when you see what's become of Blinkles.
