Spring Break
Hockey team shows humor before start of tournament
Trish Engelman
Issue date: 3/28/08 Section: Sports
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Here is what these five RedHawks had to say about their teammates' Most Likely superlatives…
Most likely to grace the cover of GQ magazine:
RE: "Charlie Effinger. Have you seen his glasses? There's no prescription, they are strictly a fashion accessory. Enough said."
Most likely to be featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated without his shirt on:
ALL: "Nate Davis. He already posed half-naked for USA Today, 'chest hair everywhere.'"
DH: "Zatkoff. You don't need to work out to make saves."
Most likely to wear his Miami hockey sweatpants and Reebok hockey hat to class so people know he plays on the hockey team:
ALL: "Tommy Wingles. Have you seen the Miami hockey bumper stickers on his car? His classic line is: I play for the hockey team, want to come over tonight?"
Most likely to blast Miley Cyrus in his headphones on bus rides:
CE: "Kevin Roeder, and if you asked him who he was listening to he would tell you Fall Out Boy."
These two RedHawk hockey players are so inseparable they are most likely to get married in the future:
ND: "Nino (Musitelli) and Pat Cannone, 'the Italian duo' … that's amore."
Most likely to have the most hockey groupies follow him uptown:
ALL: "Carter 'smooches' Camper. It's a Rocky River, Ohio thing." (Nate Davis also hails from Rocky River)
Most likely to have a vanity license plate, and this is what it would say:
ALL: "(Jeff) Zatkoff. It would say, 'GoogleMe.'"
Most likely to date the next Pamela Anderson:
ALL: "Mitch Ganzak … because he's classy like Kid Rock."
DH: "His tribal will match her barbed wire tattoo."
Most likely to spend all his money on tattoo removal:
ALL: "Cannone, Musitelli, Ganzak, Jones, Loupe and Roeder."
ND: "Roeder can hardly speak English and he has Chinese tattooed all over his body."
Most likely to be the next Enrico Blasi:
ALL: "Roeder or Nino-short, Italian and a PHS major."
Most likely to wet the bed:
CE: "Justin Vaive, after drinking too many cokes while playing World of Warcraft. I would say Roeder, but we already got him good."
Most likely to order an apple martini at the bar:
ALL: "Alec Martino … I mean Martinez"
DH: "Alex Lacombe, 'Dude, they taste like Mikes Hard lemonade'"
Most likely to be on Temptation Island:
ALL: Brad Robbins … (silence)
Most likely to become a Miami Merger:
CE: "It's a tie, Fetzer-'its Pardee time' (Fetzer tried to bargain, but they were not having it.) (Or Brian) Kaufman-(his girlfriend) never leaves his side."
Most likely to sing terrible karaoke at Brick Street on a Monday night:
CF: "Dane. He would be on American Idol bloopers."
Most likely to never leave Oxford:
RE: "Trent Vogelhuber. Trust us, he is on the team"
Most likely to join an online dating service:
ALL: "Pat Cannone; we wonder if she is even real."
Most likely to have a professional career:
ALL: "Jarod Palmer, bass master challenge. Vincent LoVerde, WWE."
On and off the ice the Miami University ice hockey team possesses a strong brotherhood; one that cannot be broken with some harmless humor.
In search of a national tournament title, the RedHawks will use their tight bond to battle through the remainder of the season.
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