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Students should get smart when uptown

Jillian Engel

Issue date: 11/6/09 Section: OpEd Page
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As the community editor for The Miami Student I often receive information about what's going on around Oxford before everybody else.

These thrilling tips can include information about the next apartment complex construction project, when a new store, restaurant or bar is opening (yes, I am somehow on the Chipotle press release list serv) or my personal favorite: information I receive from companies across the country about their latest and greatest product I should publicize to the readers of The Student - the most recent being the "TredDesk," a height-adjustable work station that attaches to an existing treadmill so people can exercise while at work and ultimately curb the rising obesity rates … at an affordable price, of course.

But I digress.

Of all the news I read and hear about, it is that blessed stack of police reports I read every Monday and Thursday before we go to print that really make me go crazy.

How can people be so stupid?

Although it has only been one year since our former police beat reporter, the hilarious Caroline Briggs, offered her advice to Miami University students about how to avoid being printed in the police beat, let alone getting arrested, I feel her points must be reiterated.

I read dozens of reports twice a week that the Oxford Police Department distributes to its two main media outlets, The Student and The Oxford Press. Don't get me wrong, a chunk of the reports involve more than just Miami students passing out on lawns or urinating in an alley and address more serious issues such as domestic violence, disruptive juveniles, suicide attempts or telecommunications harassment. However, we only have space for precisely 600 words in the police beat column, which totals to an average of three police reports per issue. It is the three police reports we deem the most interesting and/or outrageous that get printed.

So, please, I beg of you average Miami student who chooses to drink and/or abuse drugs, read my following compilation of thoughts I've collected during the past year about how to avoid being even more stupid.
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