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1st T-giving: What really happened?

Anna Turner

Issue date: 11/20/09 Section: Amusement
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I'll The origins of Thanksgiving are generally well known: The pilgrims didn't have any food and then the Native Americans gave them some corn. They were thankful and invited them over for dinner. Or something like that.

Well, you're about to have your mind blown because guess what? That's not what really happened.

That's right - your parents, teachers and television holiday specials have been lying to you for years.

Except for the buckle hats - that crap's true. In fact, that's where our story, the REAL story, begins: with a buckle hat.

The year was 16-something-or-other, and the place was London, England. Sweeney Todd had recently killed off every authority figure, and the city was in chaos. Harry Potter was threatening to sue Shakespeare for copyright infringement, and London Bridge was falling down, falling down, falling down. London Bridge was falling down, my fair lady.

It was a hot mess.

In the midst of the apocalyptic pandemonium that had engulfed foggy Londontown, there was a milliner named Peter.

His haberdashery was the only business that had not fallen victim to Oliver Twist's tomfoolery, and as such he experienced great wealth when others knew nothing but patched clothing and fingerless gloves.

One day while bringing a shipment of hats to the docks, Peter accidentally wandered aboard the wrong ship.

Instead of lodging his goods on the Flowery May, the confused milliner stocked his hats on the Mayflower.

It just so happened that these hats were his newest design: black top hats with a gold buckle. An interesting fashion statement at the time, the buckle hat was unheard of and quite revolutionary.

The Dutchmen and women on the Mayflower were intrigued by the buckle hats, and asked Peter if they could try them on.

Peter insisted the Puritan passengers must pay for the hats, and it was during this conversation that the Mayflower set sail, leaving London and Peter's haberdashery behind.
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